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Macaroni Dad

'Cause Dads Love Macaroni, Too!

February 27, 2015
Together Again?

As each year passes it seems I realign with what it really means to be happy. I will be the first to admit that I definitely get caught up in the work week and forget to seek out my Zen, but if I have my head on straight at the right moment I do remember what matters most. As the years accelerate, I have been able to be more in tune with my more frequent definition of what really makes me happy. What is THE best day? If I am going to breathe this air and function in this space, what is the highest and best use of my time so I reach my own Bliss Pinnacle? (Patent pending)

Early in life the definition of a great day was getting scooped up in loving arms, feeding robustly on some boob or a bottle and then having a responsive parent astute enough to jump up and change the poopy diaper before things got really smashed and rashy in all the wrong crevices. After a nap and a horsy ride on Daddy’s knee the nightcap might involve another gluttonous gorging followed by vigorous burping and a warm sponge bath. Actually...even at my age this sounds like a pretty good day.

Not too long ago in life my definition of the ultimate day was one spent with friends, road trips, minimal planning and waking up at the foot of a statue in a strange city. I am not sure if everyone in life goes through a Woodstock phase, but for me it was a time when I didn’t have to be responsible or make all the right decisions. Wife and family were a future aspiration and for the moment it was easy to be selfish and carefree. As the years pass and seem to come more frequently I am a little sad at how much I have grown apart from friends that once seemed to be everything to me. They are still in my thoughts and I hope to be able to see them at least once this year, but of course the priorities of life and family shift from what they once were to what they now must be.

With that said I have come to the conclusion that the best parts of my most recent life have undoubtedly been when I could spend them in the same room with my kids. With our ‘Hers, Mine and Ours’ scenario, it seems our little family was just getting started when the oldest launched out the door to college and life ahead. Although it didn’t seem like it, six years after ‘Hers’ left the nest, ‘Mine’ decided to do the same. Now Macaroni wife and I wonder how different life might have been if we had never been blessed enough to share ‘Ours’ together for the past 9 years. Raising our youngest side by side remains one of the greatest times of my life and yet we all feel the excitement when big brother and big sister might happen by to inhabit the same space during the vacations and spring breaks ahead.

Over Christmas break we were lucky enough to have big brother here from D.C. and for a short time we had two of our kids together again in the same room. Just a week ago we were fortunate enough to have older sister down here from college and for a brief time we had at least two of our kids in the same room. Lately, however, it seems it has been a challenge to get all three kids in the same space at once. It’s not something you think about when you are raising your kids because you are too busy managing the chaos and telling them to eat their dinner, finish homework and pick stuff up off the floor. Slowly, surely, suddenly you realize that if kids do what we taught them to do, they go out into the world and stand on their own and do great things. It is a little sad when we realize they are capable and amazing and don’t need to live near us or see us quite as often as we would like to see them.

At least for now I have defined ‘optimal moments’ as those which have as many of my favorite things in the same room at one time. Years ago I could not have realized how much it might mean to get the family together under one roof the way we had it. Had I known then what I know now, I think I would have stopped and looked at how great it was to see all three of our kids at the same dinner table together, talking about three different stories and not listening to anyone but themselves. I know it didn’t seem like it at the time, but it was heaven.