Young at Heart...
At heart, I am 8 years old, okay 10...maybe 12 on a good day. This should also help explain the clothing draped on top of everything, the shoes in the living room and the trash not getting out on Friday mornings as often as it should.
You have to admit that life came at us pretty fast. I was thrilled when you happened and then marriage, kids and responsibility one thousand fold and somehow the birthdays just kept coming and although my brain still tells me I haven’t grown up, my body, the calendar and the birthday counter all seem to say otherwise. According to the normal meter, I should be making six-plus figures, have a German sports car in the garage, have a well funded Roth IRA, and should thoroughly enjoy reading the Wall Street Journal while smoking my pipe in the study. Perhaps this is the bill of goods I sold you when we met, but the real me has certain attention deficit issues and is easily amused by fuzzy and shiny things.
You must admit that it was very generous of your son and his wife to think of our family a Christmas or two ago with the purchase of a new gaming system. While initially I thought it was a bit ridiculous, I also know that it is considered rude to not accept food or drink if someone offers it to you. Even more dangerous in some countries, someone could lose their hand or their head should they shun a gift given to them in such a loving manner. In being a gracious host I accepted the black bundle of wires and as you know, reluctantly hooked it up to my television in the den. Wasn’t it a wonderful surprise to also find out that your uncle got the same gift from his family?!?! Of course by now you know that your son, uncle, and I can all see and play with each other in a virtual world where we do good deeds and save countless lives.
Try not to think of it as destroying brain cells and wasting countless hours, but rather as very sophisticated training that the boys and I are undertaking in order to someday save the world from an alien invasion. I am not even qualified to fly a jet-copter or shoot that big laser thing, but at least now I know how to use them when the president calls. The other day, I accidentally drove your uncle off a cliff while our all terrain vehicle was on fire and I have to believe that you understand the importance of trying this out in a simulation mode before attempting such a task in real life.
So Thank You! You girls have been great and more than understanding and to show our appreciation we have scheduled a full twelve hour day for the three of you at the spa this Saturday. It is very important that you go. We have made arrangements to make sure the kids are over at your friend’s house so that you know they are in good hands and will be well taken care of. The boys and I are going to do some trimming of the hedges, some painting and other manly things involving power tools that will most likely take all day. Of course if we finish early and if time permits, I might get to save your son from having his head eaten by a giant robot.
